


You Are What You Eat

by KatsudonLink



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Cannibalism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-09
Updated: 2013-07-09
Packaged: 2017-12-18 04:44:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/875763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KatsudonLink/pseuds/KatsudonLink
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Then would it mean that eating people would make him the most human of humans?</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Are What You Eat

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TheSoundOfHerWings](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSoundOfHerWings/gifts).



> Maybe he is the most human to ever human. Human.

It's his stepfather. His stepfather keeps cooking. His stepfather cooks. His stepfather loves meat. There's always meat in the fridge and there's always meat in his food. Minced meat on his spaghetti, steaks, meatballs. Little Jim watches his stepfather cook as he sits on the floor. The undersides of his stepfather's eyes are dark, so are his pupils, a striking contrast to the whites of his eyes. Even when he was small enough to be sucking on a dummy, he watched his stepfather cook. 

The kitchen is always dim and there's always a sizzling sound. Little Jim's stepfather always puts too much oil on the pan and drops the meat on it before it unfreezes. 

( _sizzzzz_ )

Little Jim doesn't even suck his thumb when he watches his stepfather after he stops with the dummy because he's a big boy. The meat smells good, sometimes it smells like it's burning and however much he makes there seems to be no less of it in the fridge.   

It's a familiar sight, his stepfather looks delirious but little Jim can't tell. His stepfather's hand shakes, both of them, and along with the sizz there's the rattle of the pan hitting the stove, it's unsettlingly irregular.

( _sizzsizzzclashbangrattlerattlerattlesizzzzzzz_ )

Sometimes little Jim finds himself on his bed after watching his stepfather cook because he fell asleep to the lullaby of his cooking and good boys don't sleep on the floor.

Every time, he asks. 

"What are you cooking Da-da?"

"People, Jimmy."

And Jimmy always giggles because the silliness of the silly answer and it's just silly. Silly, silly silly. 

But one day little Jim is taken away from his stepfather because they say he did something _bad_. He did it a lot and they say it affected little Jim. 

They tell him little Jim that he must be terrified and little Jim finds his thumb in his mouth.

Was Da-da not joking?

Was that it? 

Da-da told him, little Jim knows that you are literally what you eat. Your meat is your muscle and your muscle is made out of proteins. Your body can't make proteins from scratch. The proteins of the things you eat get broken down to amino acids which then come together to form your muscles. 

Then would it mean that eating people would make him the most human of humans?  

Little Jim likes to sit in the corner, hug his legs and swing back and forth. He likes to pretend his toy cars are on fire but he doesn't do anything about it other than watch. Little Jim builds a big tower out of blocks but when he kicks it with all his might it never gives him enough of a satisfaction. Little Jim is most human. Little Jim is a human that's made out of human. Little Jim is okay but big people frown down at him, he doesn't look up but he knows. 

Little Jim likes to lie on the side on the ground and forget that other people have heads. The way little Jim was taught, he was put in the play pen and he never looked up. Little Jim never saw too many faces and little Jim only completely remembers his stepfather's face. His eyes that looked like they were about to pop out and drop on the pan with the meat. Little Jim always looks on the floor with his thumb wet or being wet by his mouth that instant. Little Jim barely knows anyone's face other than his stepfather's. Little Jim hears someone say that he can't dis..tin-...guish (what does that mean?) between faces and that caused him to be unable to relate to people.  

Little Jim's shivering on the chair that's too big for him. His stomach and upper legs are clenching. There's a curling in his stomach and his thumb is in his mouth even though little Jim is not so little anymore. Little Jim is still little in size compared but little Jim's mind is definitely not little. Not so little anymore Jim is told that what Da-da did was bad. It's never acknowledged what his stepfather did but everyone keeps saying it's _bad_.

Not so little anymore Jim feels odd and his not so little anymore head hurts. Is this why it's a bad thing? He wants to do things that are 'bad'. Is this why it's a no-no? Because it makes him human. Not so little anymore Jim wants to be human and if he keeps eating things that are not human, he'll lose his humanity.

It slips from his not so little anymore fingers, the feeling of being human and not so little anymore Jim sometimes shouts for no reason. Not so little anymore Jim is put in his room with the door locked and he's fine with that because the people who put him there aren't human either.

Not so little anymore Jim is 'bad', he decides, so...they won't like him?

Not so little anymore Jim puts cranberry jelly or strawberry jam on his hands, goes to the loo, opens the sink and pretends to be his stepfather as he washes them off. 

Decently sized Jim is told stories of his childhood that he barely remembers and he looks out the window while feeling an unrecognizable itching on his thumb. Decently sized Jim feels less of a human because he hasn't eaten human ever since he was little Jim- however decently sized Jim doesn't fit with the other not humans anyhow. Decently sized Jim trembles inside sometimes. Decently sized Jim looks at girls' bums just because he knows he can sink his teeth in them and they'd scream but he'd be human again. 

Of a more satisfying height Jim doesn't have to put cranberry jelly and strawberry jam on his hands to go to the loo, open the sink and pretend to be his stepfather as he washes them off. 

When Jim is not of a particular size but just Jim, Jim makes himself human again. 

Jim is human now and everyone else is _not_. 

 


End file.
